I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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