just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
