these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
