did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
