Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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