wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
