i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
