I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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