Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
