You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
