I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
