did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
