Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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