is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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