she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
