we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
