Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
