I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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