I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
