I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
