I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
