if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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