If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
