how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize