I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
