It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
