went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
