don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
