He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
