There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
