i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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