Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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