pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
