I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
