doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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