I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
