does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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