People in love make me want to vomit
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
