I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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