After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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