You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
