Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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