taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
