So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
