That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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