Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
