i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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