we're blogging at a bar
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Can I color on your dick again?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
pray to the hookup gods
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
