Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
