I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
