Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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