i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
