so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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