I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
