the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
