yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
