I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
