His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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