i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
