She announced her abortion via fbk
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
